1 post tagged “crime”
I was very, very, horribly wrong about being safe from hipsters in my new neighborhood. Let me pose an anecdote. I was driving along this morning, whistling merrily, about to secure my new apartment from any would-be apartment stealing hipsters. I parked in front of the leasing office, about to fork over 200 bones, when something stopped me dead in my tracks. Was it a cute little family of city possums? No. Was it a picaresque scene of a biker actually obeying traffic laws? Absolutely not. Was it none other than a terrifying piece of vandalism sprayed without remorse on a warehousey building a couple blocks away from my soon-to-be living quarters? Hell, yes. Its message instilled both a cold sense of horror and warm tendrils of humor into my heart.
"Too many hipsters, not enough crime."
To some, this might be a heartwarming message, a testament to the obscure city bubble that is Portland. As I burst into a spasm of mirth, a tear escaped my eye. Whether from lost dreams or hilarity, I will never know. I suppose this will comfort my parents.
I am incredibly excited to attend the Oregon Country Fair this weekend. I have been working 4 ten hour days in a row, so I could get Friday off. My good friend has offered to let me work in his family's food booth, so I am able to get a free pass, and to camp inside the fair. This is going to seriously ROCK. The funny thing is, they only have youth passes, so I actually have to have him make me a fake high school ID that says I'm 17. The more I've been thinking about this and how hilarious it is to get a fake ID that says I'm 4 years younger than I actually am, the more I've been realizing how great it is going to be. No more will I have to pay outrageous admission for museums! No more will I look "creepy" when I'm hanging out in the high school courtyard picking up guys! No more will I be thrown into a fit of cursing when I'm buying a bus pass and the adult one is twice as much as the youth one! No more will I be excluded from my favorite underage dance club, The Zone!
I'll be back after the weekend with more news about how my underage experience went.
